Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Thursday, December 13, 2007


Hi Everyone. Just wanted to drop a really quick update and let you all know that I'm doing ok. My surgery went very well for my prolapsed bladder. I am very sore and I'm unable to do anything other than sit or lie down right now. I hope you all are doing well. I will be back soon! :)

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Monday, December 3, 2007


Hi everyone! I swear things have just been crazy busy since I last posted. There was thanksgiving stuff to do, and I of course hosted that. It was such a great day. Lots of friends who are like family and a ton of good food. YUM! Thinking about it makes me want to eat all over again! LOL. Anyway, I've also been volunteering at the school for the PTA. Helping out where I can. Brennan got all A's on his report card. Talk about a proud mommy!!!!! That's me! Also, trying to get everything squared away before I have my surgery. I should hear back on that today. Jaxon's PT and OT are going very well. We are working on walking. He's walking with his walking toy now and it's sooo fun to watch. I'm waiting patiently for him to take those first few steps by himself. He's talking so much lately. I can actually understand real words here and there. It's so fun! My boys are just the light of my life and they keep me busy and amazed every single day.

My mother in law, Sue, came down Wednesday night from Michigan. We had a blast shopping and hanging out. She brought me this beautiful necklace that is all one piece, has a mom, dad and two kids holding hands in heart formation. It's incredible. When I am able I will take a picture to show it off. We had this crazy snow storm that started on Friday and it's beautiful here but sooo cold. We went up to Heber city and rode the polar express. OMG talk about fun! It was such a great experience. We rode on the Heber Creeper, this super old steam engine. It was all decked out for Christmas. We had the conductor, the chef's, the elfs, and of course the guy who was on top of the train in the book. It was so much fun. We had hot chocolate and cookies and sang Christmas carol's, read the polar express book, heard the elf's tell jokes, and had a visit from Santa himself. He gave out sleigh bells for those who believed. Mrs. Claus came to visit also. She passed out her cookie recipe's. We took that train all the way to the North Pole and back! It was a blast. My kids had so much fun. To top it off it was snowing so hard that night and it just made it that much more magical. I have pictures but I can't download them to my computer because they were taken on my MIL's camera as mine is broken (heartbroken about this too!!) So hopefully I will be able to do that today so I can share.

I better go. My MIL left this morning and I have to clean up some and head out to buy my husbands christmas present while it's on sale. Just wanted to let everyone know we are doing ok, just been busy. :)

Wednesday, November 21, 2007


OK so this is how it is and yes you may think I'm being rude or mean but that's your problem. This is MY blog. Not anyone elses. My thoughts, my opinions, my LIFE! If you disagree, that's your right. You will not however come onto my blog and leave ugly comments. I don't agree with everything I read on blogs but that doesn't mean I'm rude to the writer of that blog. If you have problem with something I have written by all means you may let me know. There are ways to be polite and get your point across. If you don't like what I have written you can also just NOT READ my blog! Plain and simple. Put your big girl panties on and deal with it!

Now if you are regular reader, I apologize for my outburst so to speak but I had someone be ugly in the comments of one of my posts. The worst part is that they did so anonymously so they didn't have to deal with my reply back. Not that I would have been ugly but I'm tired of people thinking they can do whatever they want to whomever they want. Thanks, Denise

Monday, November 19, 2007

Ugh.... Mondays!!!

This weekend my wonderful 14 month old, Jaxon, learned to give Mommy kisses. The only place he'll give kisses is on the mouth. I'm not exactly sure why but I was excited that he wanted to give me kisses so I just went with it! Unfortunately that's not all Jaxon gave Mommy this weekend. Those wonderful kisses came with a not so wonderful cold! That's right! Runny and stuffy nose depending on the minute, congestion and a sore throat and cough. So I cleaned my house this weekend and didn't do much else. Especially since I didn't feel good at all.

Yesterday all I did was be a bum, watch tv with my kiddos, supervised Brennan making banana pudding for the first time ever (pictures to follow shortly) and played a couple games of sorry with him that I did not win! Brennan was pretty proud of these victories. So last night while waiting for my darling husband to get off work I made my babies a delicious meal of chicken nuggets, macaroni and cheese, and peas and carrots! Not too bad I thought to myself! I was playing canasta online with my cousin Krystal and she told me that she was having croissants. This of course made me want some! So half way through my babies meal I made croissants. Brennan ADORES croissants.... So I told him that after he ate all of his dinner he would be able to have one. Now I may be the only mommy here who feels like I shouldn't have to supervise my 6 year old eating dinner every single night. Yes we have family meals but last night was casual since Ian was at work! Brennan came and told me that he ate all his dinner and could he please have a croissant. Well of course I gave him two! He ate all his dinner including his vegetables (his plate was in the sink and it was clean!) so I was happy to oblige. So a little while later Jaxon finishes eating and he is just a mess. Complete mess. He only had a diaper on since he has a yeast infection and Mommy has been giving him nakie baby time so his little bottom will heal. So before dinner I put a diaper on him so that he wouldn't potty in his high chair. But that's another story. Anyway so he's a mess and I need to put him in the tub. So I go into the bathroom to run his bath water and what do I see???? Oh yes you guessed it. There in and all around the bathroom trash can was my 6 year olds dinner. Angry was not even the word for what I was. I started the bath water and I walked into the living room and as calmly as I could told Brennan to go clean his room and brush his teeth. He said why? I said because you lied to mommy and since I'm too angry to spank you right now, you are going to get ready for bed and you will be going to bed right after your bath! He was not happy about this and it was only 6:30 but seriously I was just ready to box him up and send him to my moms! (Not really but you know!) And he did just that, went to bed at 6:50 last night.

So after Jaxon played for a while in the bath and I got him all dressed and ready for bed, I tucked him in also. Ian came home and I made the two of us pork chop salad for dinner. YUM!

Apparently Jaxon woke up at 4:00 am this morning, screaming. I was so exhausted I didn't hear him like I usually do. Ian did and got up with him. Now typically I get up with him whenever he wakes up in the middle of the night, change him, give him a sip of water, and tuck his bum back in bed. Ian however did not do this. Ian got up with him and stayed up. So at 6:30 I had a little baby boy playing with things on my night stand since Ian was getting ready to go to PT. I get up and put him back to bed. He shouldn't have been allowed up and playing at that hour anyway! I walk back into the bedroom and Ian fusses at me for putting him back in bed. He says just get up with him! No I'm sorry I don't think so. So I went back to sleep. At 7 Brennan came in and woke me up. I told him to go watch cartoons. I went back to sleep. He woke me up again at 7:30 and I figured sleep for the sick mommy just wasn't gonna happen. So I got up and made his lunch, packed his book bag and made breakfast for Jaxon. It wasn't even close to time for him to go to school. UGH!!!!

Anyway so he eventually goes to school and I put Jaxon in his crib so I could shower. I had my appointment for my cystoscopy today. NOT FUN!!! I was nervous about it. Rachiell, on of my nearest and dearest, when with me and held my hand. After the procedure, we went into the office and discussed what was going to happen. The verdict is that I will have to something called a SPARK done. Now these letters stand for some seriously big words but basically I'm having surgery on my bladder.... in the next two weeks. The best part is that it will be an outpatient surgery and that it will take about 6 weeks to fully heal. During this time I'm not allowed to do any kind of exerting activities nor pick up anything heavy! UM hello I have a 14 month old and a husband with a job and a part time job, and NO family here in Utah. Not to mention my house will need to be cleaned cause I can't stand a dirty house and Brennan has school and other stuff going on.

So after that ordeal in the doctors office, Rachiell and I got Jaxon and went out to Mimi's Cafe for lunch! I LOVE this place. It's sooo yummy. It's so like a french cafe and it's soo cute. I was going to take a picture of it but I had my hands full so I will do it next time we go there.

I came home and gave J a nap and balanced my check book and paid my bills. Then it was time for me to pick up Brennan from school. So I get in the car and drive to the stupid car rider line. Now here's the thing. The school is not on the base but it backs up to the base. And there is a paved lot behind the school on the base that a guard mans during the times school lets in and out. Last year we were able to park in the middle of this lot and the people who just waited in their cars for their kids did so around the parking lot circle. This year they changed it. Now it is 3 lanes and you are not allowed to park in the circle. You drive into the lanes and park until school gets out. Rules are the kids go to the only opening in the gate and wait with a teacher until their car gets there. Parents are not allowed to get out of their cars. The last few weeks though have been crazy. Parents pull into the car rider line and park. They are in the middle of the circle somewhere and park their car and get out. The walk all the way to the front of the line where the kids are waiting get their kid and walk back to their cars. During this time the front of the line has left the circle and can you guess what happens??? Yep that's right! The line is backed up waiting for whoever to get their kid in the car, buckled up, and get back into the car themselves and pull away! I was quite frustrated today as the kids brought their fundraising stuff home today and my poor baby was carrying this huge box and standing in at that gate for 20 minutes while about 3 or 4 cars did this. Of course I couldn't break the rules and get out of my car and help him since I had Jaxon in the car and that would have just caused it to back up even more. So finally I'm sitting behind this last car that I watched her get out of her car as the people in front of her drove away. There was NO ONE in front of her yet she still got out and walked over to the kids. I'm like I'm going around. So I pull into the third lane and I stop dead in front of the gate where the kids are. I sit there and this teacher and Brennan walk up to the car. He tried to put my 6 year old in the FRONT seat. So I said no he has to get in the back in his booster seat. He cops an attitude with me and says as rude as he can be. Next time don't park in the third lane. It's for passing only! I was furious!!! I did not put my car in park, I did not turn the ignition off, I did not unbuckle my seat belt and get out.... but this jerk actually had the NERVE to be rude to me when all of these other parents were clearly and blatantly breaking the rules. So I get home and I immediately call the school and leave a voice mail for the principal. When Principal B called me back I told him how very unhappy I was with the situation and that there was NO reason for the ugliness that the teacher gave me. And that if they were going to have these rules then they needed to enforce them for ALL parents and the safety of the children not just be rude to one! He said he'd handle it. I expect that there will be some more security forces in the circle tomorrow as he said he was going to call the commander and ask that they have more there to enforce these rules they have set up. Personally it's a crock and I liked the way they had it last year. It wasn't so much chaos.

Anyway, my rant is over. Jaxon is screaming so I better go get him.

Friday, November 16, 2007

Flaunt It Friday~~ From the Desk of Denise....

So Flaunt It Friday was so much fun last week that we're doing it again! This weeks theme is From the Desk of.... Show your work space. So here is my work space.... it's a desk top computer and my desk is semi organized and I'm surrounded by the photos of my loved ones for inspiration. There is a Mug with my name on it that holds my pens from my senior year of high school~ It reminds me of how hard I worked. The pile to my left is Brennan's school work and library books. the pile to my right is Ian's military stuff and my good mail stuff. There is also duct tape because we had to tape the wheels of Jaxon's walk n ride toy until he gets the hang of standing with it (per his physical therapist.) There are some mcdonalds beanie baby toys I've had since I worked at McDonalds in high school. There's spiral notebooks everywhere since I like to make lists everyday. There's notecards, pads of paper, bible study dvd's, Brennan's vocabulary cards. My flylady calendar and pictures of my kids still in the packages. This is where I spend my time when my Jaxon is sleeping and Brennan is playing. It's in the living room so I try to keep it as neat as possible since you can see it when you are in my home. This is a little peak into my world both cyber and real... I wonder what you think it says about me? Leave me a comment and let me know what you think! :)

Also here is my challenge to you..... Head on over to TheMommyKelly and join us if you dare. Show us your work space..... It's fun getting to know people through how they live!

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Wordless Wednesday~Best Friends~ The Denise's

Ok so it's not so wordless today! This is "The Denise's" as we're called! I'm the one in the grey shirt and she is the one in the blue. She is one of my best friends and I love her dearly. I usually share pics of my kids but I just thought I'd show one of my favorites of myself and Denise. :)

For more wordless wednesday check out 5 minutes for mom!

Monday, November 12, 2007

Some Thoughts

I have a lot of thoughts bouncing around in my head and I thought it'd be a good idea to maybe try to get them out. I'm feeling a little stressed lately. Nothing like the depression I was in, just worrying about everyone I know. It's like people pop in my head and I start thinking about whatever situation they are in and how I can be there for them or what I can do to help. It's not just that either, I can't say no to people when they ask me to do things. I also can't seem to stand up for myself. Which is so odd because I never had a problem with this until I moved here to Utah. I've had some serious doubts regarding myself, my parenting, my friendships, my relationship with my husband and my family. The problem with this is I end up letting other people dictate what I do or what I say. This is very frustrating for me. Why am I so afraid to stand up for myself and put an end to people hurting me? Am I so afraid to be alone and have no one? This is all in my head since I know I have wonderful people in my life who are there no matter what. It's just that these few people who take sooo much, give so little, and question everything I do cause me to doubt myself. I want to be a better person. I want to have a heart like Jesus. I want to be able to serve and not hurt from it. I'm the type of person who even if you hurt me the worst and turn your back on me, if you need me I'm there. It doesn't seem to matter what they did to me either. This has happened all my life. There are things that happened when I was young I still struggle with daily. There is always this love hate thing going on inside me. I hold true to once I love you, I will love you always. Does that mean that I like the people that I love? Not always. I know that sounds like a contradiction but it's just so true. It feels like my heart is so hurt and every time it starts to heal someone else comes by and rips open again. It doesn't even have to be a little thing. I feel like I start all over with the progress I've made every time this happens. I want more than anything to heal all of this broken stuff inside me so I can be healthy and happy and be the best mom, wife, daughter, sister, friend I can be. I just don't know how. One day I'll figure it out. Everything happens for a reason. I just wish I knew what it was. If you've read this thank you for reading my ramblings. I just needed to get it out. :)

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Overwhelming Projects!

So this evening my husband, Ian, took Brennan (my 6 year old) to his first ever hockey game. Jaxon is sound asleep in his crib. And instead of resting peacefully, catching up on some television shows that have been taped for a week or two, what is Mommy doing? Well she started dusting the living room. Which led to moving the bookshelf out of the living room and into the bedroom. Which led to moving the bedroom furniture to make room for it. And of course if you move furniture you have to vacuum and sweep. So that led to reorganizing my file cabinet and my plastic three drawer thingy (I don't know what they are called.) Then I needed something to put all the construction paper and crayons in and remembered there was a plastic bin just right in the storage closet in the hall. So that's right you guessed it, I dragged everything out of the closet to find it. Now I have a dusted living room full of books, and a hallway and kitchen that is now filled with junk! My room is going to be dusted shortly so I can put all of the books away before I go to bed. I can't let Jaxon play in the living room with books everywhere. And of course in order to get into my bedroom I have clean up the mess that is the closet. And I am sitting here at the computer praying that if I just close my eyes real tight and reopen them slowly everything will be put away nice and neat and I can rest! So here we go...

Closing eyes real tight!

Now reopening them real slowly!

Crap! It didn't work! Oh well if anyone needs me I'll be in the mountain of stuff in the hallway. If no one hears from me for a few hours please call my husband and tell him to rescue me. Just tell him the storage closet ate me for dinner!

Flaunt It Friday~ Let The Cat Out Of The Bag

So the mommy kelly at Taken With A Grain Of Salt is hosting a brand new Meme of her very own creation. It's called Flaunt it Friday! The theme this week is let the cat out of the bag. She is interested in seeing what everyone carries around in their bags. It's turned out to be quite the expirement so far. Anyway, I'm a day late on this as I just couldn't get onto blogger yesterday but I still wanted to participate! So here are my bags and the mess that's in them!

I usually stuff all of that into the diaper bag because I hate to carry around more than one bag right now since I'm still carrying Jaxon everywhere. Here's the contents:

diapers, wipes, diaper changing pad, bibs, burp clothes, diaper trash bags, powder, diaper rash cream, infants tylenol and motrin, toys, paci's and paci holders, snack cups and various snacks, camera and camera bag, extra outfit for J, calendar, check book, wallet, Mary Kay pouch with lip gloss and lipstick, mascara, and eyeliner, satin lip balm, tampon holder, panty liners, cell phone, keys, military id card, hand sanitizer, pens and pencils, receipts, business cards...

There's a lot that isn't there too. Like my water bottle, two cups for J, more snacks, burp clothes, and a blanket. That's what I add to it daily. If I'm not taking J with me anywhere I put all my essentials into my purse. So there you have it! And yes I'm sure everyone is wondering how I get ALL that into that small bag! Verrrry carefully! Later!

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Monday, November 5, 2007

Time Change Sucks!!!

As I sit here typing this little vent it is 6:46 am. And BOTH of my children are awake. Now granted I do have a doctors appointment at 9 but still before 7?? Seriously? UGH. They usually sleep until at least 7:30 or 8. I'm sooo tired. Anyway, I better go get a shower and try to wake up. I still have to install our big boy car seat before we go. Wish me luck. That thing rear facing in my tiny car actually kind of scares me! LOL. Anyway, off to take a hot shower and load up on caffeine. We have a busy day today. :)

Sunday, November 4, 2007

My Big Mouth

So I seem to have this problem with my big mouth. It can get me into a lot of trouble sometimes. Occasionally I will say things and think why did I say that? And pray that no one will take it the wrong way. Sometimes I speak before I think. I try really hard to be respectful of people and their feelings and if I'm saying something I know might be hurtful if it comes across wrong I try to explain what I'm trying to say. Unfortunately this doesn't alleviate this problem. Friday night I went to our squadron's social which was bunko. I LOVE this game. It's so much fun and I adore the ladies in our squadron. They are all wonderful people.

Let me give you a little background info. I have a hard time saying no to people. If someone asks me to do something I usually do it even if I really don't want to. Now there are a lot of things I say yes to because I really want to do them. Anyway, I wanted to take more responsibility in our squadron social group and I stepped up to the plate to do a few things like run the meals on wheels program, giving out baby gifts, treasurer of the group, and a few other things here and there. Then I was asked to become the Key Spouse of our squadron. I was so excited and honored to get this position. I still really want to do this. However some of the other things I've been doing I'm getting burnt out on. Not that they are hard but it seems like there is something new to do for the squadron daily, not to mention my key spouse duties. So at bunko Friday night I said that we were looking for someone to take one or two things off my plate because I was getting a little burnt out. Now I don't know that I said anything "wrong" exactly but I was told that I probably shouldn't have said that. It really started to bother me, thinking that I said something I shouldn't have. It's just that in truth, I'm sooo busy lately and it's wearing me down. It's not just stuff for the squadron. It's church stuff, Brennan's stuff, Jaxon's stuff, squadron stuff, stuff for friends, and then on top of it all Ian works a second job so he's not home a lot and then I try to add stuff in there for me once in a while. My time management really hasn't been the greatest lately. Usually I'm super organized and things run smoothly. However lately it's been all overwhelming and my housework is falling behind, friendships are falling behind, and I'm just plain old tired. So my big mouth might have gotten me into trouble. I really hope the ladies in the squadron don't think that I resent doing things for them. It's not that. I just really need to regroup and cut some things out so I'm not stressed out. There are things I can't cut out in my life like doctors appointments, jaxon's OT and PT appointments, Brennan's schoolwork, and church... But there are things like watching other peoples kids a lot and extra stuff here and there that just have to go for right now. Please pray for me. Pray that God will show me how to politely decline things so I don't let go of the wrong things. Thanks!

Saturday, November 3, 2007

My Baby Is Now A Big Boy!!!!

So, after much research, much debate, and consultation with friends and car seat technicians, we made a decision about taking Jaxon out of his infant carrier. We finally settled on the Cosco Scenera 5-point harness convertible car seat. I called Ian and asked him to stop and pick it up. It's very safe and sooooo reasonable. So Ian went and got it and brought it home. We wanted to try it out so Ian fixed the straps and we put him in it. He instantly looked soooo much older. We'll be putting it in the car tomorrow. Here are some pictures of him trying it out....

It's so sad. He doesn't even look like the same baby! He looks grown up. I know he needed a new car seat but it kills me that he's not in his infant seat anymore. Another milestone hit. He was so excited about his new big boy seat. I was too until we sat him in it. Then I wanted my baby back! He's so freakin' cute! But of course I'm biased. And one more thing before I sign off, for those of you that are super pro- car seat, we will be rear facing for a little while longer at least. It goes up to 35 lbs rear facing so we have a while to decide about switching him to forward facing. It wont be this month that's for sure! Here's to a safe affordable convertible car seat! Love it!!!

Just for fun here's the first time he was ever in his infant seat! Can you see a difference?

Updated Jaxon's Montage

November is National Prematurity Awareness Month

November is National Prematurity Awareness Month. That is a picture of my Jaxon in the NICU the day they took him there.

Here is his birth story along with some of his beginning stay at the NICU. I posted this on October 1, 2006 to Jaxon's carepage.

Jaxon Ryker Carpenter was born September 18, 2006 at 6:32 PM. He was born 6 weeks early. I started feeling bad on Saturday and spent the day lying in bed praying that it would stop. Sunday found us with no change in the pain but headed to the hospital. The nurse looked at me decided that I was having contractions and gave me a shot of Terbutaline to stop them. They eased up but they did not stop. So a second shot of the medication came and went with the contractions not easing up. They checked my cervix and since it wasn't changing sent me home. So I came home and went to bed. Monday came and with it the contractions were stronger and coming really close together. So back to the hospital we went. We got to Pioneer Valley Hospital at around noon. They hooked me up to the monitors and saw that I was in a lot of pain. They gave me a shot of the Terbutaline again along with a shot of Morphine and still they weren't stopping and the Morphine wasn't easing the pain. So an hour later they gave me another shot to stop the contractions and after they saw that wasn't working they checked me. My cervix hadn't exactly changed but it had shortened. So they made the decision to go ahead with my c-section that night at 6. About 15 minutes after they came to tell me that they were going to do the c-section I felt a small gush. I told the nurse that I thought my water broke and she looked and said I don’t think so. A few minutes later I felt another bigger gush and said Ok it really has broken. She checked again and sure enough my water had broken. At 6 they came in and did my epidural (it wasn't so bad) and wheeled me back to the waiting room. A few minutes later I was put on a table and strapped down and Ian came in looking pretty spiffy in his gown, hat, and booties. He sat down and held my hand and before I knew it they had begun. At 6:32 Jaxon came out screaming! I started crying immediately because his cry was beautiful. They held him over me for just a second so I could say hi and he was whisked away to be cleaned up and have his apgar test. His first score was 7 and the second was 9. Ian got some pictures and sat back beside me. They finished cleaning him up and they wrapped him up and gave him to Ian. He held him for me to kiss him and see him for just a minute and then they took him out of the OR. Ian stopped by my labor and delivery room so Brennan could get his first (and only so far) peek at his little brother. He fell in love immediately. After they were done with me they wheeled me back into the room to recover and then took me to my regular room for my stay. After several antsy hours I was finally allowed to get out of bed and into a wheel chair to be wheeled to the nursery to see my pumpkin. He was under a head box and doing ok at that point. I went back to my room to rest for the night. I didn't sleep very well because he wasn't in the room with me. I kept worrying about him. At 6 the next morning, the Pediatrician came in to tell me that he was having a hard time breathing and that she had made the decision to transport him to St. Marks NICU. She told the Life flight was prepping him for transport. What that meant was they were putting him on a ventilator and inserting umbilical lines into his umbilical cord as well as an IV. A little while later, the life flight team brought him into my room so I could say goodbye. Within the next few days Jaxon got very sick with pneumonia and ended up with two holes in his lung. He was put back on the ventilator and had two chest tubes put into the side of his chest. He was hooked up to several medications, two antibiotics, a sedative, fats, and IV fluids. He finally turned a corner this week, when they were able to clamp off one of his chest tubes and removed it the next day. Then that same afternoon they clamped off the second chest tube and he came off that the next day. They took him off the ventilator on September 28th. They placed him in a head box that had oxygen running through it constantly. By the end of the night they realized he needed a little extra help and put him on the SiPAP machine, which basically forces air into his lungs. He was on that for like two days. They have been slowly decreasing his sedative so he could finally wake up and move on to the next steps of his process. Yesterday, September 30th they finally started giving him breast milk through an NJ feeding tube that is inserted down his nose and into his stomach. They started out giving him 2 cc’s every 6 hours to see how he would tolerate it. The first feeding came back up the tube but the next few went very well. So well in fact that they started giving him up to 5 cc’s every three hours today. This morning he graduated to a nasal canula. I was so excited!!! I went to the hospital today and spent 2 ½ hours there and got to watch them feed him. I haven’t got to hold him yet and that’s pretty hard but we are making progress. He got to lie on his tummy today for the first time. He’s a little jaundiced and that’s why he has those very cool sunshades on. Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers these last two weeks. It has been a long hard road already but we have finally turned a corner. It’s going to be a little while longer at least before Jaxon comes home so I will try my best to update this daily so you all know what’s going on. Thanks again, Denise and Ian.

I rember going to the NICU for the first time. I was so overwhelmed. He was in the Level 3 NICU. That was where they took the really sick babies. I was sooo scared and I just remember looking at his tiny little body and wondering if I'd ever get to hold him. That feeling sucked so much. I was allowed to touch him but they fussed at me for rubbing him at all. You weren't allowed to "stroke" their skin since it irritated preemies. He was hooked up to all these wires and you had to be so careful. There were days I'd go in and just sit there and cry as I stared at him, my arms aching to hold him. I even resented my husband a little since he had gotten to hold him for a few minutes when he was first born. It wasn't his fault I knew that but it was so hard. I can't believe that was over a year ago now. Especially with Jaxon crawling around and cruising furniture now. He's so much fun and such a joy.

My friend Nancy, mommy of a former 25 weeker, is doing something special for National Prematurity month. She is posting about preemies for the entire month. If you want to learn more or even read their incredible story, visit her at Miracles Happen!

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Wordless Wednesday

For More Wordless Wednesday visit 5 minutes for mom.

Happy Halloween!!!

Just wanted to say Happy Halloween to all of my blogging friends. I will be sharing pictures of my Power Ranger and Turtle later on. This past few days have been so crazy busy. Wednesday I decorated for halloween. Yes, a week before but my house looks cute! Thursday we went to the pumpkin patch with my friend Denise and her kids. Friday I was busy getting everything ready for our squadron Halloween Festival. I was there all day. It went well but I hurt everywhere by the time we got done, cleaned up and locked the doors. Saturday I stayed home but my house was trashed so I took some motrin and cleaned most of the day. Sunday I had a birthday party to go to at the Living Planet Aquarium. After the party, me and Brennan met an old friend and her son at Chuck E. Cheese for dinner. We had fun and ate way too much. Steff and I got to catch up a bit. Her son Riley came and spent the night with us that night.
Monday, Denise, Lyndsi and I took all of our kids plus Riley up to Ogden Canyon and took lots and lots of pictures. They were great! But we were exhausted. So after the photo day we came back to my house, ordered pizza, and played Phase 10. The kids played outside and got all their energy out. Yesterday Denise and I went to walmart and then we came over to my house and got everything ready for dinner, played yahtzee and hung out till Ian got off work. Once he got off work we went over to Denise's house, she cooked and then we watched Transformers on her big screen. That movie was awesome! Today we got up and got B ready for school in his costume. I went directly to the commissary after dropping him off, got groceries, came home and put all the cold stuff away. Then I went to meet Rachiell for brunch. It was good to see her and catch up. We are both so busy these days. Then I came home, put away more of my groceries, did dishes, and got ready to go to Brennan's school for the halloween parade and his class party that I organized. We got through the school parade and the party, but I'm completely exhausted. I really don't want to go out and trick or treat tonight but I can't do that to Brennan so we'll be dressing up shortly and heading out. Speaking of which, TTing starts in 15 minutes here and my kids aren't ready. Gotta run. Be back later with pictures. :)

Monday, October 29, 2007

FYI~ The Golden Compass

Hi Everyone. I was going to post about what things I've been doing in the last 4 days that have kept me so busy that I haven't had the chance to blog. However I got an email this morning from my dear friend Kim and it lit a fire under my bum! Normally I don't get into topics like these on here but this one is seriously disturbing to me. I believe after reading all of the information given to me that I needed to help get the word out about the movie The Golden Compass starring Nicole Kidman that is coming out December 7, 2007. It is written by the author Philip Pullman, who is an athiest. The movie is a "water downed version" of his series of books that are very anti-christian and are focused towards "killing God in children's minds." I am just so appalled at the fact that they would make this a movie at all, let alone one geared toward children. I am so concsious about what my children watch on tv that they aren't allowed to even watch some Nickelodeon shows. Unsuspecting parents will be taking their children to the movies thinking that this gonna be a good kids movie and it's going to be putting athiest beliefs into their heads. It just blows my mind on so many different levels here! I for one will not be allowing my children to see this movie and I'm going try to let as many parents I can know exactly what it is that they will be walking into this Christmas season. I checked this out on and it is very much true. Click on that link and it will take you straight to the article. I am a firm believer that knowledge is a good weapon against these types of situations so that is why I'm writing about it here. Read the article for yourself and make your own decision but I know mine has already been made. Wishing you all the best!

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Beautiful Christmas Card Contest~~~ I want it!

So I just saw that Not China Made is having a contest where you can win $25 toward your choice of Christmas card at Card My Christmas! These cards are simply amazing! Love each and every one! Go Check them out!

There are several I would purchase but I think this one says everything so simply! It is my favorite. It's beautiful!

Enter the contest!

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Wordless Wednesday

For more Wordless Wednesday visit 5 minutes for mom.

Good Mail Pals

Ok so while I was down and out fighting the horrible depression over the last few months I had a few very uplifting things happen. One is that my good mail pals didn't forget about me and they kept sending me cards and things to brighten my day. And they really did. It was always so nice to go to the mail box, especially after a particularly crazy day where I just wanted to stay in bed and not get up EVER, and finding a note saying thinking of you was very refreshing. I'm so sorry that I haven't been a very good good mail pal lately but I promise now that my meds have kicked in and life is so much brighter I will be back to sending out goodies.

I especially want to thank Kayelyn for not giving up on me. You made me smile and knowing that you cared that much about me made me want to get better. I so appreciate you checking on me and still checking my blog all the time. It means sooo much to me. Thank YOU and a big HUG!!!

Love, Denise

Blissful Life Got Sassy

I am totally diggin' my new blog "do"!!! LOL I just finished uploading and rearranging everything. I'm still not entirely done but if I don't cook dinner my husband and children will not be happy with me! So tell me what you think about the new "do"! I can't wait to hear to hear what you think. Denise

PS I can't take credit for the layout... that belongs solely to Free Blogger Skins.... Their link is under credits.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

7th Wedding Anniversary

Today is a special day for me and Ian. 7 years ago today we drove to Folly Beach, SC and got married on the pier. It was night time and it was beautiful. It was a simple ceremony. We only invited two people. I can't believe it's been 7 years. It's been a rough road. Shortly after we became husband and wife, we became parents. In that one year so much happened to us. We got married, had a baby and shortly there after September 11th happened. Ian was deployed and I spent our first anniversary with our son. When he finally came home it was hard to get back to the "normal" that we knew. I had gotten very independent while he was gone. I kept myself and Brennan busy so that I wouldn't sit at home and watch CNN all day long. Seven years later and so much has happened. For one thing we have another baby. Second we live in Utah now. There are several other things but those are the two most important.

This morning I got up and made french toast for our family. It was a nice family breakfast. We aren't doing anything major this year to celebrate except that after Ian gets off work tonight we'll have dinner, watch some tv and maybe play a game, tuck our kiddos into bed and reminisce about how we got here. Sounds like a pretty good anniversary to me.

Ian, honey, I love you so much and I'm so happy that you are my husband. I love our life together and though we've had major ups and downs we are still strong. I can't wait to see what life has in store for us next!

Saturday, October 20, 2007

It's Snowing Outside

That's what I heard a short while ago from Brennan as he ran to the big window to watch the snow. The Disney Channel and snack abandoned. I sat there for a while just watching him watch the snow. There was such delight there. I was so upset when I first realized it was going to snow today. I'm not one for cold weather let alone slushy mess to walk and drive through. But as I watched him staring out the window at the snow I realized that I needed to stop being upset and enjoy watching the beautiful snow fall. I realize this sounds all mushy and stuff but I miss being a child with all that wonder. Every now and then I catch a glimpse of it and it brings me back to all the fun and wonder of being a child and praying for snow. Of course we rarely got snow in South Carolina but here it's different. The first year we were here and it snowed I was totally amazed. I hope that I can keep that wonder and awe in the future. It was priceless and I wanted to capture that moment. Brennan has now told me all about how snow is made and what it is. It's priceless. I love being a mom and getting to experience these amazing moments with my children. I can't wait for the day that Jaxon gets what snow is too. Thanks for letting me share.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Happy First Birthday Jaxon!!!

I don't even know how to start this... Happy Birthday to my sweet wonderful boy, Jaxon Ryker. I love you so much. You have brought so much joy to our lives. Watching you fight and grow and learn over this last year has just been amazing. You taught me so much that I thought I knew but really I didn't. Looking at your happy little face every day and I pray that the wonder and curiousity and the way you love people never diminishes. Everyone who meets you loves you instantly. You just have that way about you. You are amazing and I love you more than you will ever know. Keep on teaching me new things everyday. We'll learn together. Love, Mommy

Monday, September 3, 2007

So it's been a while....

Hey everyone. It's been a while. I can't believe it's September already. There's been a lot going on. Actually, to be completely honest, I've been having a really hard time lately. This year has been rough to say the least and I thought I was handling it well and I was until all of a sudden I just wasn't. Does that make sense? I have, unfortunately, fought depression since I was a teenager. It's also a terrible side effect of fibromyalgia. Of course I always managed to overcome these rough times. This time I wasn't doing so well. I stopped getting online, stopped calling people, and I was tired all the time. The only things I did were take care of my kids. I mean I did do other stuff here and there but the majority of my time was spent at home, in pajamas. I have decided that I've got to get out of this funk. I tried to call my doctor several times last week to schedule an appointment to discuss some temporary medication but the idiots never called me back. Don't think that I won't be giving them an earful when I do get someone to call me back. If nothing else I will go up there in person. Anyway, I'm finally ready to stop wallowing. Don't ask why I let myself get down like this. It wasn't anyone person, or thing that happened, it just sort of took hold before I knew it. My new focus is going to be getting in exercise everyday (I've already started, I'll explain soon) and getting out in the sunshine daily. I am going to see my doctor and discuss the meds but I'm hoping that I will start feeling better from the natural sertonin made from getting outside in the sun and getting my heartrate up. Wish me luck. I hate the thought of being on more medication.

What has been going on in the last few weeks? Well one thing as you know I turned 27 and I had a fabulous time doing it. Here are a few pictures from my birthday dinner...On the way to OG with Jennifer, Kim, and Stacey. Jennifer was the designated driver!

My Raspberry Margarita.... It was soo yummy! Not a great picture but I was fixing to take a drink when Leanne took the picture. :)

From left to right here are me and my girls.... Jennifer, Stacey, Leanne, the waiter Scott (I think his name was and according to Rachiell he was "FAMILY!"), ME, Kim, and Rachiell. We were all wearing lei's that night and of course mine was pink! I thought we were all very cute! It was a great night and so much fun to turn 27 with these amazing ladies who love me. I love you guys so much! I'll never forget this night!

About a week later Ian and I got over night sitters for the kids (Jaxon went to Jennifer's and Brennan went to Rachiell's) which we NEVER do. EVER! It was kind of hard not to call the whole night off and stay close to my babies. But we did go. It was HILARIOUS. We went to Ian's friend Kris's house and I learned to play asshole. It's a drinking card game and let's just say it was so freaking funny. In the game of asshole you have "ranks" and the person who goes out first is the President and the pres makes up a rule at the beginning of the game and they have to abide by it. Then it goes by who goes out next and so on. The last person to go out is the "asshole" and they have to wear a silly hat. However this person becomes the dealer and while they are dealing they can make people drink as much as they want. It was so funny. Here are some pics from that night:Ok it's a blury picture but I was the first asshole... I looked pretty funny with that hat.

Kris was the second asshole...

Jenni was the 3rd...

Staci was the 4th..

Ian was the 4th... (he and Lynn were quite wasted...) can you tell?

Ok so as the president you make up funny rules that people have to do if they do stuff like throw face cards or whatever and it was totally torture the guys night this night so every rule we three girls made as president we never had to do but the guys did. So here is Kris acting like an elephant, Ian was a penguin I think but he could barely stand up, and Lynn was playing with his nipples and supposed to be dancing... it got interesting.

Here is a picture of me and Jenni. I think it turned out very cute.

So the next item I have for you... Sorry this is so long but I just have so much to say and I'm afraid I'll forget it all. This is OUR HUGE NEWS! My Baby is CRAWLING!!!! So last Tuesday we had our IFSP meeting for EI and after Lisa left I put Jaxon down for his nap. When he got up he was kind of fussy so I was holding him but suddenly he didn't want that. I put him down on the ground and Brennan was sitting by the computer and he crawled to him! I was so freaking excited. So about that time Rachiell got here with the boys so she helped me get it on tape. Here is the video:

So then we come to Wednesday of this week. August 29th.... My baby became a first grader!!! He is so grown up and it's killing me. He even learned to tie his own shoes before he started school. I bought him new shoes on Tuesday and that night he learned to tie them. Wednesday he was a different kid. He wasn't a baby anymore. Here are some pics from that morning...

Tying his new sketchers... Fixing to walk to school on the first day....

Showing off his new Super Hero tshirt and bookbag....

Standing in his first grade class line for the very first time....

This was a hard day for me. He was starting real school and was going to be gone all day long. I was so proud of him. He was so excited and couldn't wait to see what first grade was gonna bring him. When they started to walk into the building he looked a little worried so I grabbed his hand and walked him to class. I watched from the door as he went in and took his seat, tears streaming down my face. I missed this last year as on his first day of kindergarten Ian has surgery on both legs in a hospital 45 minutes from where we live so my friend had to take him to school. So when his teacher shut the door I looked in the window for another minute and walked out of the school to where Ian was waiting with Jaxon. I'm so glad he left work at the last minute to be with us that day. We walked home hand in hand amazed that our Brennan was no longer a baby. He finished his first week (it was a short week only three days and they got out at 1:30 each day) so excited. He's already bringing home papers that he did in class, already making new friends, and loving the fact that he got to each school lunch. I wanted him to take his lunch but he said no. He wanted to buy it. He's already so independent. I pray that there is never a day that he doesn't need me at all. After I take him to school I take Jaxon on a walk through housing. It has lots of hills and it gives me a chance to reenergize before heading home and starting my day. Jaxon loves going for those walks.

Well I better go for now as I've written a novel and if you read all of it I thank you. I've missed my blogging friends and I promise to do better. HUGS!

Monday, August 20, 2007


Ok so I've been MIA. I've had a lot of stuff going on. I can't believe that it's been so long myself. First Jaxon has gotten better! Thank goodness. He is doing well. We are in the middle of getting Brennan ready for school. They start next week. Buying all this stuff they need before school is crazy expensive. I wish someone would have warned me! LOL.
Anyway I've been babysitting a lot lately. I always have extra kids over here. They keep Brennan occupied. Boy am I looking forward to school starting though! Just a little while longer!

My birthday was a blast. I had so much fun. Jennifer, Kim, Stacey, Rachiell and Leanne all went out to dinner with me to Olive Garden. We wore lei's and everyone kept asking us why we wore them. I got a beautiful italian charm bracelet from Rachiell. Stacey got me a pretty candle and stuck a Happy Birthday sign in my yard. It was very cute. Jennifer gave me beautiful roses. They are just about dead now and unfortunately I didn't get a chance to take a picture of them. It was soo much fun. We laughed, and had this crazy waiter. We ate and drank and it was just a really great time. I will post pictures on another blog of my birthday because it wont let me add anymore to this one. ;)

Ian had taken me out to dinner the night before that to Texas Roadhouse. We had so much fun. It was yummy!!! It was a very nice "date" with my husband. :) I love you honey!

Me and Ian before dinner
Ian and I in the car on the way to Texas Roadhouse

When I left off the last time we were going to do something with our squadron. Well we went to Lagoon (it's an amusement park here). Ian and I had never been before that day. We had a blast and were totally shocked that my 6 year old, Brennan rode all the rides that his daddy rode. Including the Wicked. This thing is one of those with the track underneath you and it looks like it's hardly on the track at all. It shoots you straight up into the air and right back down. It looks something like this _I_ I'm totally serious. I'll have to post a picture of it. It was amazing. I was so proud of him. I thought for sure he'd never want to ride another ride there but he did. He went on all the roller coasters including the ones that go upside down. We got these bounce back passes so that we can go back for only $7.50 anytime between now and the end of the month. Ian and I are going to make it a date and go by ourselves with no kids.
Brennan and Ian on the Bat
Me and Brennan on the Bat
The Wicked

So today I had a meeting with the Commander and First Sergeant of our squadron and I have been appointed as the Keyspouse. I am very excited about this. Basically I'm just a point of contact for families in the squadron but there are more tasks to it than just that. I'm so honored that they picked and asked me to do this.
Well that's it for now. I'll be posting the pics from my birthday soon. :)

Thursday, August 9, 2007

Catch Up

Well, Jaxon is FINALLY getting better. He's such a happier baby with the augmentin in him. Life has been rather difficult this week when you get no sleep. But he's finally back to playing and eating and NOT screaming all the time.

I think my equilibrium is off or something because everytime I turn around I'm hurting myself. First it was the burn, then I burnt my hand again, then I slipped getting into the shower and have this HUGE bruise on my leg (it's bigger than a baseball), and then yesterday I was checking my mail across the street with Jaxon in my arms and I was walking back home and the next thing I knew was that we were on the ground. I don't know how we ended up on the ground but we sure did. So I'm all scrapped up. I guess I managed to shield Jaxon because he is perfectly fine. No marks whatsoever. I'm starting to get worried about all this stuff. Maybe it's another side effect of the fibromyalgia that I didn't realize. Goodness knows that I find out a new one regularly. It's been 4 years since I was diagnosed and every time I think I get it "managed" since there is no cure for it something else pops up. Some other symptom or pain. I'll be 27 on Saturday and I swear I think that I'm already falling apart.

Anyway I better run cause we have a very fun squadron function today and I have to get me and the boys ready to go before Ian gets back home. He had to go into work for an hour before we all go. I'll be posting about it hopefully with pictures when we get back. Have a great day! :0)

Monday, August 6, 2007

Early Intervention... Again

Well even though Jaxon is sick I still took him to his EI evaluation today. It's so hard to get an appointment time with them and it's been rescheduled 3 times already. So anyway, We went and we had a good visit and Jaxon even sick is completely a ham. The antibiotics are already working because he was just so excited and loved all the cool toys they gave him to play with. After an hour they did all the paperwork and informed him that we qualify for PT (physical Therapy) because his gross motor skills are borderline. He is at his adjusted age (9 months) for everything else like fine motor skills, social, problem solving and such. His gross motor was assessed at 7 months. Also, one of the ladies looked at him right when we got there and asked if we ever noticed his feet? I said well yeah I look at his feet all the time. She pointed out that his second toe on both feet was the shortest toe he has when it should be the second longest. She said that it can be indicative that something else is going on sometimes. I guess we will just have to wait that one out and see. Anyway I don't know whether to be happy that he's getting the help he needs or cry because he needs help. I know it's silly but I'm having mixed emotions. Out therapist will be calling soon to see him before we set up his IFSP (Individual Family Service Plan). Anyway, we are home now and he's napping. I'm going to find something to eat. I think I hear the pop tarts calling my name! :)

Sunday, August 5, 2007

Weekend Reflection...

This week as just been awful. I know I've had several posts this week about my sick baby but seriously like that's all I've done this week. Monday I had lunch with a friend I hadn't seen in a while, Tuesday I got to grocery shop, Wednesday I can't remember what I did, Thursday lunch with my friend from Guam and then Jaxon got super sick so off to Wee Care we went. Friday home with my sick baby. Saturday home with my sick baby, although I did clean Brennan's room really well and rearranged it. Today home with my sick baby except for taking him to Wee Care again. Only this time we got two other diagnoses (is that right? I don't know) He has a double ear infection and "possible" pneumonia. OH joy let me tell you much fun it's been this week. Sorry that's all I can really say right now. Not a great week. I hope this week is MUCH better because goodness knows I may go stir crazy. Hope everyone has had a good week. HUGS!

Saturday, August 4, 2007

Birthday Help Please!!!

That's right. My sweet angel baby is getting ready to turn the big O-N-E next month. That's right NEXT month (OMG I so didn't realize that it was actually next month until just now.) Ian and I have decided that despite the fact that we aren't "home" (Charleston, SC or Waterford, MI) where our families are, that we are going through the biggest first birthday party we can. We want to celebrate our little miracle baby. Last year at this time I was getting ready to have my baby shower (it was on August 5th) and had no idea that in just a little over a month he'd come join our family. It was such a rough start, the day to day not knowing if the next time the doctor called it would be worse than the one before, or not knowing what they were going to tell me when I walked into the NICU everyday. I prayed daily for them to tell me I'd get to hold him. I prayed constantly that he'd make it. Anyway, I'm getting side tracked and all teary eyed. The point to my blog today is that Ian and I can't make a decision on Jaxon's birthday theme. We've been going back and forth sooo much and since I just realized how close it was I need to get a move on ordering the stuff for his party. So please help us decide which theme to go with. Here are the ones we are thinking of:

Ian wants this one: John Deere

I am so not about the tractor deal. I love my farm boy husband and all but this as a first birthday theme is just not my pick. So here are the ones I like:

Baby Einstein, Little Boy 1, Lil Prince, and Safari Babies.

Ok so there are the ones we can't agree on. If you'd like to look at the rest of the collections you can click here for 1stwishes. Please let me know your opinion because my babies birthday will come and go before Ian and I are able to agree! :) Thanks!

Friday, August 3, 2007

Ok So Maybe It was....

Well Jaxon still has a rash but we haven't had anymore fever today. He was still crabby. I think it was the combination of roseola and teething because this morning I felt around in his mouth and sure enough he's cut his third tooth. So maybe it's just a sucky week for him. I sure hope he feels better soon. But I did get some good cuddle time with him today. We layed on the couch and he slept on my tummy for a long time. He's never done that ever. He's only ever wanted to sleep in his bed. Not that I'm complaining about that but I like to hold him and listen to him breathe and such. Anyway, thanks for everyone's well wishes. I'm sure he's going to be better in just a couple of days. It's much appreciated. :)

Thursday, August 2, 2007

It Wasn't Teething! :(

So after five long days of extreme crabbiness, fever of 102 and below (yes this is normal temp for him teething too!), runny nose and congestion and me thinking it was teething hell, I find out that it's not. Today being the crappy day that it was had a baby with all of the above symptoms but then he decided to add projectile vomiting. Oh yes boy was that pleasant! I put him in his jumperoo and as soon as I did he puked and it covered the jumperoo, the floor underneath him, the carpet all around him, me and the kitchen tile in the next room. NO I'm not exaggerating either. It was awful. So I grab him, take him out of his clothes, clean him up and change his diaper. I decided I would put him in his swing in his room with a blanket so he could rest for a bit listening to the music while I cleaned up the mess. So I did that. I grab my 2nd Harry Potter book and walk into his room. I decided I was going to sit in his room while he rested in swing and read. So I'm reading and he's resting and I look over at him and he smiles at me, but something isn't right. So I look closer at him and think it's too dark in here I'm seeing things. I turn on the bedroom light and lo and behold he's COVERED head to toe in a rash! Just that quick. I was just floored. He's never had a rash before. So after a call to his pediatrician, we are out the door to Wee Care. We get right in and after he's weighed (17 lbs 7 oz) the doc comes in and examines him. He says well the good news is it's nothing serious. The bad news is we cant' do anything for it. I was like what is it? He says it's Roseola. He said the rash should be the end of it and he should be getting better soon and that we shouldn't have any more fever from it. Unfortunately that still leaves me with a very miserable little guy! And that miserable guy is now crying in his crib. I hope baby tylenol and some cuddles from Mommy will make him feel a little better! Wish me luck!

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

Good Mail

I promised that I would post pictures of the good mail that was sent to me from Tori and Kayelyn. So here's my presents!!! Thanks so much ladies. You really made my day! :)
My Birthday goody bag and first aid for my burn from Kayelyn!!!

A note and Cards and envelopes from Tori! Thanks so much, Tori!

And yesterday I recieved some more good mail from Jenni! She sent me two packets of good smelling foot scrub and an emory board. Thanks so much! I like to take good care of my tootsies!

Thanks again Ladies. You made my day!!!! LOVE All of it!!!! :)