Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Wordless Wednesday

For more wordless wednesday, visit 5 minutes for mom.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Rough day

Today we had some problems with my son and I was just devastated not knowing what to do about it. I had basically been reduced to a puddle of mush and cried nonstop. I'm pretty certain I overreacted as I packed every item in Brennan's room up and put it all in the storage closet. He has NOTHING left in his room except his bed, dresser, and his bible. I'm not sure how long I plan to keep it like that but I had no idea what else to do. I just feel so out of control where it comes to him these days and I felt like maybe if there was nothing left for him to be distracted by we'd finally get somewhere.
About 2 hours after I finished packing Brennan's room I got a call from my mom. I didn't answer it because I was still reeling from the situation and wasn't ready to talk about it. But after I didn't answer my house phone my cell started ringing and after the second time calling my cell I answered it and it was my brother. All he said was that we had a problem. My heart stopped because my brother rarely calls me. He lives with my mom and I was terrified that I was getting bad news. And yep that's exactly what it was. BAD NEWS. My nephew had been hit by a car. Not just hit by a car while riding his scooter in front of his house but hit and dragged down the road because the teenager that hit him had no idea he'd hit a 6 year old boy. Needless to say my brother in law hit the kid and ended up in jail to make matters worse. Jopey is ok, he's covered head to toe in road rash but there's not broken bones and THANK GOD he was wearing a helmet because he might not have survived otherwise. So after the phone call I was completely useless because it makes it that much harder to live 2000 miles away from my family. So I had to wait for news from someone there to know what was going on and if he was ok. So as you can guess the awful panic attack monster reared it's ugly head. I was a wreck, I can't imagine what my sister was going through. I missed class tonight and I hope that I'll be able to make up the work, since we were testing tonight. But there was NO way I was going to be able to concentrate on tests tonight when I could barely function. Thank God for amazing friends who have become family and were there to help in any way they could tonight. Amazing how God puts people in your life that understand and help you get through when you need it most.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Tuesday Tiip Jar

My Tuesday tip is to use shaving cream to clean your bathroom mirrors. It not only cleans them really well it also keeps them from fogging up while you are showering. :)

Monday, October 13, 2008

Do you ever wonder....

What your life would be like if you hadn't made some of the choices you made? I've had several of those moments. You know the ones, the fork in the road moments. And for the most part you take the one that will take you where you think you want to go. And once in a while you realize that maybe you didn't want to go there after all. I mean who wants to end up down a road with pot holes the size of the grand canyon and nails and debris. Yet somehow there is that day that you realize you've come out of that canyon on the other side and you find an ocean or field full of flowers and realize you may not have known where you were going nor did you want to go the way you got there but you wouldn't trade it for the world.
I've been having a few of those days lately. I've had such a hard time with life in general. I get so overwhelmed and I think why am I here? Why did I do this? Why did I move here? What made me think I could have two children? What made me think that I could be happily married? Or get out of debt, or have a best friend who is ALWAYS there for me no matter what, or even why did I think I could go back to school? Some days I think I'm superwoman and can do anything and most days do it better than someone else... but yet those other days have been more and more lately. The feelings of I'm not good enough, I'm not going to make it, I should give up. And that's when the anxiety comes in and I find myself in a pool of tears and almost a whole box of cookies and praying that someone will just take over for me even for a little while. But I'm praying and I'm holding on to the faith that this is God's plan for me. Even the anxiety and frustration is part of his plan. It's hard to let go of control and just trust, especially trust what you can't see. That's so hard for me. But I'm trying and I'm getting out of bed every day and I'm taking care of my kids, and my house (for the most part) and going to school and still keeping that 4.0 and I realize at this moment, I'm exactly where God wants me. I might be in that giant pot hole right now but pretty soon I know He is going to pull me out and there on the other side it's going to be amazing. I don't know what that holds or when that's going to happen, but I know it's going to. Maybe that's what God's waiting for. Maybe He is waiting for me to realize that all I need to get out of that hole is Him and he will take care of the rest. Some days it takes that faith... And faith is believing even when you can't see what you believe in. :)
Psalm 27:14 "Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord."
This scripture couldn't be a better one for me today. :)

Sunday, October 12, 2008

First Snow of the Season

So today we woke up to a world of white for the first time this fall/winter. Now if you followed my blog in the last few years you know that last year Jaxon wanted NOTHING to do with the snow. However this year I was curious as to what was going to happen. Sure it's cold and wet but Jaxon LOVES being outside. Actually he walks around the house all day long saying, outside, outside, outside. So we bundled the kids up and we took them outside to play in the snow. Which by the way is still falling heavily as I type. So here are a few pictures of this years first snow play... getting ready to go out

4 wheeling through the snow
Brennan stopped throwing snowballs for me to get a picture of him
Ian getting pelted by snowballs from Brennan and his friend
Jaxon loves being outside but he's not sure about the snow
Ian getting Brennan back and Jaxon laughing
Uh oh Ian got Kris and is now chasing Brennan through the snow
Me and the boys
Jaxon and his girlfriend Lizzy
Jaxon has decided he likes it!
So I feel like I'm going to have to get over my hate of the cold because my boys are going to want to be outside a lot this winter. Keep your fingers crossed that I don't turn into a popsicle.

Friday, October 10, 2008

Some days you just have to rest....

Things have been so busy this last year that I haven't had time to breathe let alone blog. Today I planned on my day off from school and babysitting and all that I seem to do lately to clean my house and catch up on my shows, and internet time along with playing with the kids outside. Well, Jaxon and I made it outside for about 2 hours and I managed to do a load of laundry, dishes, and make my bed... then I got the worst migraine I have had in months. It was full on, head pounding, light blinding, noise peircing migraine. I even went to the door at one point to answer it and found myself so dizzy that I came pretty close to passing out. So for the last 5 hours I pretty much layed on the couch and tried not to move.
I finally feel somewhat better and decided to check my email and thought might as well check the blogs I follow too. I'm wiped out and as soon as I finish this blog I'm going to crawl in bed and try to get a good 8 hours of sleep. Tomorrow is two of my friends kids birthday party (they are having it together) plus it is supposed to be our first snowfall. I'm not really looking forward to it, the snow not the birthday party. I'm all for cake and ice cream and my kids being able to play with their best friends. I am just so not looking forward to winter. I makes me want to run away and cover up and not leave my house. However with 2 boys that will tear down my walls if I dont let them outside that is not going to happen. So we will be spending lots of time outside even in the cold and snow. Someone please send us warm thoughts so I don't become a popcicle this year.
So I have 3 weeks left of school. November 4th is my last day of classes. Then I have my externship that starts on the 10th of November. Then on the 21st of November I take my AMT. I'm so nervous about the end of school. I was told several times that there was no way I was going to finish and yet here I am 3 weeks away and to top it off I have a 4.0. It hasn't been easy and I've had to learn to let a lot of things go this year but I've made it. Although I have to say radiology is kicking my butt right now but it's sooo worth it. I love this field and I never thought I would. Yes, people think it's gross to be working in someone else's mouth and I thought that too but now I can't wait to get out there and help people who are in pain and to help keep their smiles healthy. I really owe this all to my friend Leanne. She is the one who got me interested in the dental field. She was going to school when I started and she has just been an inspiration. She loves it. And now I can see why. I just can't wait to go to work doing something I love.
However that brings up another hard thing for me... to leave behind being a stay at home mom. I LOVE being a stay at home mom and I love my kids so much. It will be hard to not be home with them everyday. I want to work part time, that way I can still be home with them as much as possible. So we will see how it goes. Keep your fingers crossed for me and say a prayer for all of us as we make a new transition with our family. It's a big step for all of us.
Anyway, I'm going to head to my comfy bed now! I'll post some new pictures hopefully tomorrow. I have so many new ones! :) goodnight all!