Monday, October 12, 2009

Intracranial Hypertension/Psuedotumor Cerebri

Sounds fun right! Yeah not so much. For the last two years I've been experiencing excruciating headaches, tinnitus (buzzing/whooshing) in my right ear) dizzyness, blurred vision, blackouts, double vision, pins/needle tingling in my hands and feet and sheer extraordinary exhaustion. Finally after 2 years they send me to a neurologist who does an MRI, blood tests, sends me to an opthamologist and a lumbar puncture. Low and behold three weeks later we have a diagnosis. My LP opening pressure was 29 normal pressure should be around 13. They removed 20 cc's of spinal liquid off my spine. They said that should help. Yeah it hasn't. They put me on topamax. A month later still dealing with the same symptoms and fighting to maintain some control in my life because my vision is getting worse. The pain is getting worse and what's worse because I don't LOOK sick, people think I'm perfectly fine. No I don't want to be treated differently because I'm sick but at the same time I want UNDERSTANDING. Especially from my husband. And I'm just not getting it. Last night Jaxon got a fever that shot up to 103 and I called the doctor. They said we can see you at midnight if you want and I said do you think I need to bring him in. They said we will have the MA call you back. Ok no problem. She calls back and she says if his fever goes down with tylenol/motrin we can wait till morning to bring him in. I'm at this point exhausted and think waiting is the best option and Ian has decided that I need to take him in. That he absolutely needs to go into the doc at midnight but He wasn't volunteering to take him. He wanted ME to take him. So I rescheduled the appointment and Ian freaked out on me. You are lazy only thinking of yourself. All you want to do is go to bed when your kid is sick... This is the type of thing I have been getting from him since I got the diagnosis and it doesn't matter what it is about. Checking the voicemail, cleaning the house, or whatever and this is what I get. I just feel so worthless and not even sure what to do. Jaxon slept all night last night and woke up with the fever again this morning and we did go into the doctor. He has an ear infection. He is currently sleeping again. And I have yet to get a kind word from my husband or anyone else today. Ok my vent is over. The point of this blog post is that I joined an IIH support forum and they had a link to www.butyoudon'tlooksick.com and this lady wrote this story about the spoon theory. She was trying to help her friend understand what it was like to live with Lupus everyday. Now I don't have Lupus but the principal is the same. And I hope that it will help some understand just a little what it's like to live with a disease that takes all your spoons. Read it and then write me what you think about it! I'd love to hear what you think. Because the disease is different but the point is we don't look sick but we are. ;)

Thursday, January 8, 2009

YAY ME!!!!!!

I'm so happy. I went in to school today and picked up my paperwork for graduation. I scheduled my exit interview and I went in to work. Today and tomorrow were supposed to be my last days at the Pediatric Dentistry. I finish my externship tomorrow and I'm DONE with school. All I have left is my exit interview and my official graduation ceremony on March 7th. I went in today and I was officially offered a position there! I'm so excited. It's what I worked so hard for and I'm so happy. I "officially start" on Tuesday even though I've been there for two months! Yay ME!!! What a GREAT day!!!!!

Friday, January 2, 2009

You're Gonna Miss This.... Moment



This is my very first YGMT. I came across this blog tonight. She is having a carnival on her blog. Play along with this great mimi at YGMT!

I picked this for my YGMT moment! My boys playing together! You see I was talking to someone today about Brennan and how big he is getting. He is up to my shoulder now. He's gettin bigger everyday and turning from my little boy into my big boy. Right now he is interested in his brother and playing with him. They are 7 years old and 2 years old. Jaxon LOVES his big brother and looks up to him so much. But February is fast approaching now and my baby will 8 years old. My prayer is that they will always have a good relationship. But I'm really gonna miss the lazy days of just watching the two of them horse around. Can't they stay babies forever?

Thoughts on this Years New Year Resolutions

So I've been thinking for a while about New Years Resolutions and whether 1) I should make them or 2) what they would be if I did. Every year people make resolutions on NYE and they never keep them. I am definitely on the not keeping end. So I asked myself what would I say if I made them. So here is the list of things I would say if I were making resolutions.
1) Lose Weight
2) Get Organized
3) Save Money
4) Pay Off Bills
5) Give Up Obligations

So I'm not saying that this isn't a good list of things to do. Nor am I saying that some of them might not get done. But I'm tired of being impractical and making big future resolutions that I'll give up on tomorrow. So here is a list of things I'm resolving to do THIS WEEK
1) Pray Daily: My prayer life is not what it should be. I have a long way to go to be a prayer warrior but I'm committed to getting on my knees every day for the next 7 days as a start! Things I am going to pray about include my family, my boys, my husband, my go group, my church family.
2) Start the Study LIES WOMEN BELIEVE AND THE TRUTH THAT SETS THEM FREE! I've already started reading the book but my go group is fixing to start the study. I'm committing to doing my homework and allowing my relationship with God to progress.
3) Finish my last 40 hours of my externship! I'm almost there. By next Friday I will be done!!!
4) Get Brennan back to Awana's next Wednesday! I was in school last year so he couldn't go since he was at the sitters.
5) Do ONE load of laundry a day at least! This includes washing, drying, folding, hanging, and putting away. I have a habit of starting laundry and forgetting about it. Washing all the laundry and not folding it or putting it away. I figure even though Mt. Washmore is still gonna be there having one load done a day, completely done, will help me get into a habit of keeping up on it.
6) Enjoy my kids! I take so little time to really enjoy them because I stay so busy that it's hurting me and them. I'm ready to stop being so busy and just let them show me their world!
7) Encouraging my husband. Last but certainly not least, especially because I've already started this. I started the 30 day challenge from http://www.reviveourhearts.com/ to encourage and edify my husband for 30 days. The challenge is to not say anything negative to or about him and to edify him. I am committed to finishing this challenge. I love my husband and I know I don't always show it. I can be just as hard to live with. He is a wonderful husband, father, provider. I want him to know that!

So those are my "resolutions" for this week. I really want to be able to do these things this week. Maybe I'll update on how I did at the end of the week next week. Maybe I'll make some more after these. But I know I can't stay focused on one thing for longer than a week at a time. I have to see some progress everyday. I'll want to give up on myself. So I'm going to pray that I'm able to do these things this week!

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Happy New Years!!!

So on New Years Eve we stayed in and had fun with the boys! Brennan had his little friend Nathan spend the night and they spent most of the day in his room playing Nintendo DS or outside in the snow! They had a blast. Jaxon played hard today too and he was fading fast about 10:00. Ian had to go to the airport to pick up my friend Chanra and we were hoping they would make it back in time for midnight. Jaxon was trying to hang in!
Mommy had to get a picture cuddling with her cute cuddle bug!
Getting my pre New Years Kiss!!!
Oh No! The camera!
A cute cuddle with Abby!
Nope he didn't make it!
Checking in on the boys! Yep they are playing DS! Quick pause for a picture for mom though!

Me and My hubby. Brennan took this picture!
Mom, gave us Champaigne. Oh man it's just Sparkling White Grape Juice!!!
Counting down the New Year and a new years cheer!
Nathan and Brennan. I think they are pretty tired too!
My new years kiss. Brennan was NOT happy about taking this picture. His words were GROSS!!!
Sparlking grape juice is yummy... Too bad Daddy had to drink Jaxon's too!!! He was not waking up!

After we celebrated and said Happy New Year, we all headed to bed. I know we aren't very exciting but to me it was a PERFECT New Years with my boys!!! Can't wait to see what God has in store for 2009.

Happy Birthday Daddy!

So December 30th is Ian's birthday. He had to work at the base that day. No one at his work knew it was his birthday. Me and the boys quickly changed that. I took the boys to the store and picked up some goodies and balloons. We took them over to the shop and said Happy Birthday. I snapped this picture of my boys! I'm such a lucky girl! Shortly after we left, Ian came home for the day. He said they felt bad he was at work on his birthday and gave him the rest of the day off! YAY! So Brennan and Ian went to do some father son stuff and Jaxon and I napped! When they got home we got ready to go and went to dinner at Olive Garden! It was yummy and fun! Like I said I'm a lucky girl!

Playing Outside With The Boys

So I decided to venture outside with the boys yesterday in the cold and play outside. Jaxon LOVES outside and needs to be able to run around and play and get fresh air as often as possible. Mommy could spend a whole month in the house never stepping foot in the cold or snow if I could! So Brennan bundled up and when to a friends house and Jaxon and I bundled up and headed into the front yard! We threw snowballs, snow angels, and tried to build a snowman but Jaxon lost interest. When I brought out the camera to take a picture of us outside he wanted it and when I didn't give it to him he cried. I took the picture anyway!

Finally I gave in and he took this of me!
Telling me he wants to go play somewhere else!


Trying out my scooter outside for the first time!!


And he's off!
He didn't like me putting him up on the snow hill in our yard!
Brennan came home for a few minutes and he didn't mind!
My Boys!
Brennan's snow angel
I don't know why some of these pictures turned out blue but they were still cute!
Brennan and his new sled!
Jaxon's turn with the sled


And then we went in and had hot chocolate and took a nap! What a fun day!

Christmas 2008

So this Christmas was so exciting. On Christmas Eve, we got the suprise from a Secret Santa! We went to Christmas Eve candelight service at church, and out to dinner afterward. We called and said hi to my family that always gets together every Christmas Eve. We left cookies out for Santa and we put the boys to bed! Shortly after I was exhausted and went to bed myself.
A few days before Christmas, my friend Tracy came into town and brought the kids some presents. A new bionicle for Brennan!
A Leap Frog Fridge Farm for Jaxon.
And we made a family favorite, Puppy Chow, and wrapped it up pretty and delivered it to neighbors and friends!
On Christmas Morning!
Brennan got a skateboard from Santa and Jaxon got a scooter!
Trying em out for the first time!
Uh oh! Daddy got a DS!
Diego Cars!!!
Thanks Aunt Judi and Granny!!! I wanted this so much!!!

Jaxon crawling on top of the Diego Mobile Rescue Unit box to unwrap it!!

A Christmas nap! Unwrapping presents and playing with new toys wear me out!!!


No pictures were taken of me this wonderful Christmas morning, but I got a wonderful gift certificate for a spa day from my hubby!! I can't wait to get to use it!!! Christmas was a lazy, wonderful day at our house full of fun and good food and nice naps! The way every Christmas should be!!!