Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Looking Forward to 2012

I'm in a very reflective mood today!  I know it's been 5 months since I last posted but truly it has been a whirlwind of a year.  I woke up thinking about all there was for me to do and I could feel the panic start to creep in.  But I realized that what I need more than anything is to breathe and count the blessings God has given us this year.  Last year at this time I was floating on cloud 9.  We had gotten some much needed news and we were ready to begin a new year.  But that's where things got a little crazy.  And life stayed that way, on the fast track, crazy, and feeling as if nothing got done that needed to be done.  However, in the midst of the chaos and uncertainty of this year, God showed up so big that there left no room for doubt.  This Carpenter clan has another major year ahead of us.  We will be transitioning out of the military, we will be finding a new place to live, jobs.  Ian will be starting college.  2012 is going to be a big, crazy, scary year for us, but God showed up so big in 2011 that I know He is going to be right there in the middle of our crazy 2012.  I'm scared, nervous, anxious.  If I said I wasn't a little of each of those things I'd be lying.  But I'm also excited to see how God is going to work things out for us.  We do covet your prayers for this year.  Knowing that we are being covered prayerfully will give me reassurance that we aren't facing this year alone.  So here's to new, uncharted territory and looking forward to what God's up to in 2012!

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Jaxon and MacGyver

The theme song to the old tv show MacGyver is now permanently stuck in my head.  Thanks in part to Netflix.  Ian's been watching it on Netflix a lot lately and Jaxon LOVES this show.  I mean not just a little bit but like LOVES LOVES LOVES this show.  He forgoes cartoons, playing with toys, playing the wii, and eating to watch this show.  He finds it utterly fascinating.  I'm so not kidding.  So this morning when Ian got up, Lego Star Wars was turned off and MacGyver was turned on.  This is the picture that I caught in my living room th is morning.  All my boys (Brennan, Ian, Jaxon, Grandpa Chuck, and even Logan)  were in the living room watching the show. 

On our way to Brian's 4th of July Party on Monday we saw one of Ian's coworkers from Sams.  His name is David.  Super nice guy.  As he was crossing the street Jaxon yells out "Dad, your friend looks like MacGyver." The sad part is Jaxon was totally on the money.  So now David has a new nickname. 

Jaxon's loves MacGyver so much that we keep finding random swiss army knives that we've had around the house in his bedroom.  Now we have to hide them.  I'm not sure a 4 year old really needs a swiss army knife but OMG Jaxon thinks he does.  You'd think we'd taken away his bike or something.  Anyway, I just had to capture 4 generations of Carpenter boys and the show that brings my boys together!
I <3 them!

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Blogging and Stuff

I used to blog all the time. I tried to post something every day. I just realized how very much I miss it. LOL I know it's crazy. I would read my favorite blogs, participate in random meme's, and most of all I would write my thoughts, feelings, and post pictures of my crazy, adorable family. Yep, I miss that. So I'm going to try to work on getting back on the horse, so to speak.

So what have I been up to? Well, my mother in law was in town recently... twice. And my father in law is currently in transit from the airport to my house with my hubby. I have been doing a lot of reading lately. Joined a book club and am really enjoying it. Just finished My Sister's Keeper and I loved it. I cried like a baby.

I've been teaching coupon classes. I mean seriously who knew right! Saving money is so much fun and I absolutely love teaching. :) I really enjoy getting to meet new people. I'm finding my niche in this little coupon thing and it's pretty exciting.

Brennan finished 4th grade and his first year as a Webelos Cub Scout. Next week he will be taking his very first trip without me or Ian. He is going with my father in law when he leaves and will be spending some time with his grandparents. He is sooo excited and Mama not so much. I may need to be heavily sedated next Monday. Anyone have any xanax? LOL! Just Kidding... I think.

Jaxon is... well he is Jaxon. Getting into everything, thinking he is older than he is, and stubborn as can be! I mean here we are 3 months before his 5th birthday and we still haven't figured out this potty training thing! Geez, I'm starting to think he will never go to school at this rate. But he is the most thoughtful, amazing little 4 year old boy in the whole world. Randomly he runs up to me and says I love you Mommy. Melts my heart. He just got tubes put back in his ears for the second time last week.

Ooops, Ian just got home with his dad. Guess I better run and spend some time with the fam. My kids are so excited to see their grandpa!

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Hidden Joy in a Dark Corner

Yesterday I received the book Hidden Joy in a Dark Corner by Wendy Blight.  I signed up to do this Bible Study through Melissa Taylor's blog a while ago.  The study just started a week ago and there are almost 3200 ladies signed up wanting healing.  The book chronicles Wendy's rape and how she went to God for answers on why she had to go through this and her journey to heal.  It's not just her story though.  She uses her story to show us that we can be real with God and take the hardest most difficult parts of our selves to Him.  Some may be thinking why on earth would you want to relive that or deal with a situation that is so painful.  The answer isn't as simple as I'd like it to be but I never healed from the abuse that was inflicted on me as a child in so many ways.  I simply stuffed it down and covered it up.  I pretended that it never happened.  Unfortunately, even so many years later, it's haunting me.  It's in my head, my heart, it's in the way I interact with my husband, my children, my friends.  In the past year this has come back so fiercely that I have honest to goodness physical pain from the fear, anxiety, and memories.  It's time to let that go.  It's time to face it and move past it.  And the only way I can do that is by letting God have it and allowing Him to guide me through it.  Melissa wrote this poem/prayer on her blog this last week and I love it so much I want to share it here.
“We put up a wall,

won’t let anyone in.

Oh what would they think

if they knew of my sin?

That wall has to crumble,

let it fall piece by piece.

Break free from this cycle

into the Savior’s sweet release.”

Monday, April 25, 2011

Cleaning House and The Spoon Theory

Today a good friend of mine commented that I am always cleaning my house and that she only cleans once a week and was curious why that was.  I sat thinking about this for a while and honestly I started to beat myself up.  Why do I have a house that is constantly needing cleaning?  Why can't I just clean one day a week and be done till next week?  But honestly there are several reasons.  For one, I live with 2 boys, one man, and one male dog.  I think they forget that I'm not their maid and leave messes wherever they trail through the house and do not bother to pick up socks, toys, wrappers and what not as they leave.  The second main reason I have to clean is that I simply, physically, can not clean my entire house in one day.  Between the fibromyalgia and the miniers, I have energy first thing in the morning and once it's used up, it's gone completely till the next day.  I have to do laundry and dishes daily. The other day I decided I would clean the wood floors in my house.  I got them all swept and mopped and after that I was in so much pain that I had to rest.  My energy comes and goes and I have to use it wisely.  My house is not filthy and never will be.  But don't be suprised if you come by my house at any given time and there are toys everywhere, and dog hair on the couches, or laundry piled on my kitchen table. My methods and life are different from yours and I'm okay with that.  I have a hard time explaining to people about this.  Often I get "well if you just do this, then you will feel better."  What they don't understand because they aren't in my shoes is that it isn't always so simple.  My point in writing this isn't to make anyone feel sorry or to say that I'm upset.  I'm simply writing because it was in my head and it will keep me up all night if I don't.  I came across a website called http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/ a while ago and it explained perfectly what it is like to live with a chronic illness.  I would love to repost it in it's entirety but it's copy righted.  So please if you are curious about what it's like read it.  And remember that when I spend time with you, you have one of my spoons. :)