Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Hidden Joy in a Dark Corner

Yesterday I received the book Hidden Joy in a Dark Corner by Wendy Blight.  I signed up to do this Bible Study through Melissa Taylor's blog a while ago.  The study just started a week ago and there are almost 3200 ladies signed up wanting healing.  The book chronicles Wendy's rape and how she went to God for answers on why she had to go through this and her journey to heal.  It's not just her story though.  She uses her story to show us that we can be real with God and take the hardest most difficult parts of our selves to Him.  Some may be thinking why on earth would you want to relive that or deal with a situation that is so painful.  The answer isn't as simple as I'd like it to be but I never healed from the abuse that was inflicted on me as a child in so many ways.  I simply stuffed it down and covered it up.  I pretended that it never happened.  Unfortunately, even so many years later, it's haunting me.  It's in my head, my heart, it's in the way I interact with my husband, my children, my friends.  In the past year this has come back so fiercely that I have honest to goodness physical pain from the fear, anxiety, and memories.  It's time to let that go.  It's time to face it and move past it.  And the only way I can do that is by letting God have it and allowing Him to guide me through it.  Melissa wrote this poem/prayer on her blog this last week and I love it so much I want to share it here.
“We put up a wall,


won’t let anyone in.

Oh what would they think

if they knew of my sin?

That wall has to crumble,

let it fall piece by piece.

Break free from this cycle

into the Savior’s sweet release.”